the dark knight, gently reflecting


How can I love you if I don’t believe in love?

Why do I care for you if you’ve never been there for me?

I felt tremendous sorrow in remembering how much I loved you and realizing that I can never love anyone that way again. I felt maturity in being able to wield my passion with such certainty.

I feel perfectly content all alone, so I don’t understand this internal wont for you to be lying beside me, this desire to feel your warmth.

I would like for the world to end so I can enjoy an infinite solitude.

Life is beautiful, but it weighs on me.

The peace of nature and physics: the world continuing to revolve, the sun shining, humans keeping busy, birds flying, bees buzzing, boughs swaying and leaves rustling in the breeze…

I enjoy these things deeply. They bring me serenity. There doesn’t have to be anyone beside me for me to find tranquility in existence.

My lot in life has become clear, and my Lord is wise in all things. Though I lament I do not follow his ways with absoluteness, I hope He will forgive my shortcomings. I retain the hope that one day I shall come around and follow all his Laws with zealotry borne from wisdom and understanding.

Sometimes I want to hold your hand, but rationally I do not perceive any meaning in it. The warmth of your touch is soothing and comforting. So too is the sensation of placid crystal waters on a summer’s eve, as the sun sets behind mountainous horizons. I am content with nature as my companion while you find love with another man.